Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts
by RiverHolly13086
Summary: Fred and George Weasley push the boundaries of rule breaking (and Professor McGonagall) to their limits. First story for me, please read/review. Thanks. Rated for swearing and concepts not suited for kids. This story is always in progress and always complete.
1. Dates, names, and extra credit

1) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colours indicate that they are "covered in bees".

"Poke"

"Fred?"

"Poke"

"George?"

"Poke"

"For heavens sake you two! What are you doing?"

"We are poking you with spoons," stated Fred.

"But why?" asked Hufflepuff Ernie Macmillan.

"Because your house colours are yellow and black," replied George.

"So?"

"So you are covered in bees," answered Fred as though this were completely obvious.

"Poke"

The Hufflepuffs sighed. They knew any resistance is futile against the devilish duo known as the Weasley twins.

From her place at the high table Professor McGonagall watched as the two biggest pranksters of the school continued to bruise the Hufflepuffs with the blunt silverware. They do the strangest things sometimes she thought to herself. Perhaps one day she would write a list.

2) Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".

"Mr. Weasley what is that coming out from beneath your bed"

"It's the marijuana I'm growing Professor."

"And why would you be growing marijuana?"

"As an extra credit for herbology Professor Minnie."

Ignoring her hated nickname Professor McGonagall simply said, "Growing marijuana is not an extra credit for herbology Mr. Weasley."

"What about hallucinogenic mushrooms?" asked Fred from his own bed.

"No hallucinogenic mushrooms either," sighed Professor McGonagall. Really she didn't know how these boys came up with them.

Sullenly both the boys went to their beds, pulled a couple of planters boxes from beneath them, crossed to the dormitory window, threw it open and tossed the lot out.

Professor McGonagall sighed, and chose to ignore them.

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

"Hey! Hey Oliver!" A pair of all-too-familiar voices called to the quidditch captain as he crossed the chilly grounds on his way back to the castle.

Sighing Oliver Wood turned to face his Beaters.

"What?" he said warily.

"No offence Oliver but…" Fred began but Oliver cut across him.

"Look," he snapped. "If this is another joke about my name don't bother. I've heard every possible one."

The Weasley twins stared at him for a couple of seconds before simultaneously breaking into identical evil grins.

"Challenge accepted."

4) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

"What is that Mr. Weasley?"

"It's my date Professor."

"And why is your date the giant squid? How did you manage to get the giant squid out of the lake?"

"Magic."

"I see. Well Mr. Weasley the giant squid simply is not an acceptable date for the Yule Ball"

"Why not Professor?"

"Because," Professor McGonagall faltered. "Because it just simply is not."

"Shh," said George covering the spot where he thought squid's ears might be. "She's sensitive."

Professor McGonagall began to turn red in the face.

"Now see here Mr. Weasley..." she began. The following was one of the most spectacular shouting matches Hogwarts school has ever seen, including when Seamus Finnigan had shouted down his mother to stay for Dumbledore's funeral. In the end a very confused giant squid was returned the lake and the grinning George Weasley joined the Ball to dance with his fellow Quidditch player, Alicia Spinet.

5) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".

"You will write 'I must not tell lies', let's say, for the next hour," said the pink-clad, frog like, woman.

The redheaded twins sitting in front of her only glared.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking Fred?"

"I think I am, George."

One hour later Delores Umbridge said to the lawbreakers, "Alright put down your quills."

After the twins had left Umbribge looked at the sheets she had just picked up. Instead of a page full of the words 'I must not tell lies' she saw these words, written over and over again.

'I told you I was hard-core'.

6) If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

Fred Weasley just putting the finishing touch on his masterpiece when Professor McGonagall called from the front of the class "I want a 12 inch essay from all of you by tomorrow, what's that on your arm Mr. Davies?"

Fred's previously sleeping classmate looked at his left forearm in surprise. There, plain as anything, was the Dark Mark. Yes the Dark Mark, symbol of Voldemort.

"I - I don't know professor said the terrified teen.

Suddenly unable to control himself Fred burst out laughing. The entire class looked round at him.

"Fred?"

"Yes Minnie?"

"Five points from Gryffindor."

7) House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

Oliver Wood was fuming. He finally managed to book the Quidditch pitch for practice and, lo and behold, one of the bludgers was missing. Forget about bludgers, both of his beaters were missing.

"Has anyone seen Fred and George?" He asked his team. They all shook their heads.

"Here we are, Oliver," said Fred running towards them.

"We solved your bludger problem." added George following his twin.

Gesturing behind them the team noticed a third creature running out to the pitch.

"Dobby!" shouted Harry in surprise.

"Dobby has come to help Harry Potter practice quidditch!" said the elf happily.

"Fred George, no," snapped chaser Katie Bell. "We cannot use a house self as a bludger"

"It's only fair seeing as he bewitched the bludger to attack Harry in his second-year." Countered George.

Oliver Wood looked like he was actually considering using Dobby but then Harry spoke up,

"Hermione has a society for elvish right and I don't think she would forgive us for using Dobby as a bludger."

Everyone shuddered, imagining Hermione's rage.

"Well that settles it," said Fred matter-of-factly. "Hermione mad at us, really mad at us..." He shuddered again.

"I'd have to sleep with one eye open," agreed Angelina Johnson.

"This never happened," whispered Harry looking around nervously.

"Deal"

8) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

"Mr. Weasley what are you doing?"

"Starting a betting pool."

"On what?"

"The fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher."

Professor McGonagall's mouth had gone very thin. "And why would you do that?" she asked almost threateningly.

"It's a clever money-making concept," said Fred defensively.

Professor McGonagall exploded.

"It is not for money-making concept!" she screeched. "It is tasteless and tacky! I can't believe you Fred! This crosses the line"

Personally Fred thought Minnie had been talking to his mother too much, but thankfully for him he had enough tact not to say that out loud.

After taking a few deep breaths his professor had calmed down enough to say, "Detention Mr. Weasley, 7 o'clock, my office." And with that she walked away.

Watching her disappear around the far corner, Fred smiled to himself.

She hadn't taken away his profits.

9) Seamus Finnigan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

Fred and George Weasley were sneaking around the castle, jumping at small noises and looking around corners cautiously.

"What are you doing?" asked their also redheaded brother Ron.

"Hiding," replied George quietly.

"From what?" asked Hermione Granger curiously.

"Seamus Finnigan," answered Fred.

"Why?"

"He's after me Lucky Charms,"

"What?" exclaimed Ron. "That weird muggle cereal that Dad likes?"

"Well they're magically delicious," Fred announced.

At that moment Seamas Finnigan walked around the corner at the end of the hall.

"RUN!" Screamed Fred and George together as they took off down the hall.

"What's with them?" Seamus asked his fellow Gryffindors.

"You're after their Lucky Charms."

10) I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".

Fred and George Weasley found themselves walking alongside Padma and Parvati Patil.

" What's up, bookends?" the redheads asked.

"Who you calling bookends, bookends? The two girls replied.

"Well played bookends, well played."


	2. Pets, questions and true forms

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (sadly)**

** Author Note:**

**Thank you to anyone who has/is reading this. It is much appreciated. Also me thinks there should be a girl prankster in coming chapters, so she needs a name, house and blood status. Review and tell me what you think they should be, or what you think of the story. -Amy**

11) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

"Today we shall be learning to gaze into the depths of the crystal ball, and see past the mundane," said the misty, atmospheric voice of Professor Trelawney.

Fred rolled his eyes. The same old rant each time they started crystal gazing. But this time he had something more reliable than a crystal ball.

"Professor," he said raising his hand. "I have a new divination tool"

"Oh," said Professor Trelawney. "Well come forward dear boy, and explain this new instrument.

Smirking faintly Fred reached into his bag and pulled out a little muggle trinket that his dad had found. Apparently it was called a Magic Eight Ball. You ask a question, give it a shake and the ball will give you an answer.

"This," he said dramatically to Trelawney, "is a crystal ball that can predict the answers to all your yes or no questions."

Trelawney's already magnified eyes Grew larger still.

"Does it really work?" she whispered dramatically. "Can you actually predict the answers?"

"Course it can," said Fred confidently, winking at his twin. "Watch this. Is George going to have an accident?" He shook the the Magic Eight Ball.

The message on the ball showed, It is certain.

Three seconds later George knocked the crystal ball off his table.

Professor Trelawney gasped and pressed her hand to her heart.

"My dear boy! This is a remarkable creation you have here. May-may I borrow it, to examine?"

"Of course Professor," said Fred bowing to her.

For the rest of the class, no one did any work. Professor Trelawney was too busy asking the Magic Eight Ball questions to tell them what to do.

"You realize that not all of the predictions the ball makes will come true," a Ravenclaw named Jenny Cooper wispered to Fred as they left the classroom 20 minutes later.

"They have a better chance of coming true than her actual predictions," replied Fred.

12) I am not a sloth Animagus.

"Mr. Weasley why haven't you handed in your homework?"

"Because Minnie I have just discovered my true animagus form and I was trying to portray it."

Professor McGonagall sighed. Well if James Potter and Sirius Black had managed to produce an animagus perhaps Fred and George had as well.

"And what is your true animagus form?"

"A sloth," George replied.

"May I see it?"

"I'm afraid not"

"Why would that be?" asked McGonagall

"I'm not a sloth animagus," George replied sadly.

13) I am not a tribble Animagus.

Just then the other half of the the Weasley twins pipped up from the back of the class.

"I have a true animagus form Professor."

Professor McGonagall closed her eyes as though steeling herself, then answered. "And what is your true form, Fred?"

"A tribble."

"Really?"

"No."

14) I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha

"Mr. Weasley it is against the rules to have a reticulated python. Someone could've gotten severely hurt."

"But no one got hurt. Harry can control it with his snaky language. It's fine, no harm done."

"It's not fine Fred. I'm afraid your python has to go."

"He has a name you know." snapped Fred.

Professor McGonagall and buried her face in her hands. Really these two were going to be the death of her.

"You still can't keep him as a pet."

Fred"s shoulders slumped. "Fine, but can I at least keep my snow leopard, Spots?"

"You can not have a snow leopard."

"What about my piranha, Joe?"

"No"

"Well you just have to let me keep my Tasmanian devil, Sam."

"Weasley you may have an owl or a cat or a toad."

"But Ron has a rat."

McGonagall crossed to the door and held it open for him.

"Ron's rat is acceptable, your pets are not. Good day to you Mr. Weasley."

"But,"

"Good day."

As Fred shuffled out and she slammed the door behind him, McGonagall thought to herself, really we ought to check the pets that students are bringing in better.

15) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

Lupin awoke late on Christmas morning. He smiled to himself as he saw the stocking sitting at the his bed stuffed with presents. He got out of bed, put on his slippers and sat down to open his gifts.

His mood improved as he delved deeper and deeper into his stocking. His presents included a book on defensive magic from McGonagall, a box of chocolate frogs from Sirius, a large bag of sherbet lemons from Dumbledore and, he himself was surprised, a sickle from Snape.

It was when he got to the bottom of the stocking that his good mood disappeared. There, wrapped in plain brown paper, was a gift from Fred and George. Weasley. Remus poked it cautiously. When it didn't explode he though it safe to open.

Peeling back the brown paper packaging he took one look at the the contents and scowled.

He doesn't want a flea collar.

16) I will not kiss Trevor.

"Umm, Fred why are you kissing Trevor?"

"So he will turn into a beautiful princess."

"Isn't that when a princess kisses a frog it turns into a prince""

"So I've been kissing this slimy toad for nothing?"

"Yep."

"Well, excuse me while I go boil my lips."

"Have fun!"

17) I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

To everyone surprise George Weasley was an excellent student in Arithmancy. Unfortunately he was also quite annoying in Arithmancy.

For the fifth time this week he raised his hand and ask Professor Vector, "What is the square root of one, Professor?"

Professor Vector, already stressed because of a family matter, snaped. "Weasley!" she barked. "If you ask me one more time what the square root of one is I'll take that Arithmancy you have and use it to whack you over the head!"

The class all sat very still lest the they provoke her wrath. After taking a few deep breaths she composed herself, and said.

"I'm sorry George, but square roots are muggle maths. If you really wish to know, I suggest you ask the Muggle Studies professor."

18) Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

Today Fred and George had just one question.

"Hey Lee how do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?"

Unfortunately since Fred and George had been doing this all day everyone knew the answer. But, when it's Fred and George,you really just have to humour them.

"I don't know. How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" said Lee sarcastically rolling his eyes.

In answer Fred and George walked away, giggling like five year olds.

Lee rolled his eyes again and continued down the corridor. As he rounded the corner he heard Fred and George again.

"Hey Hermione how do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?"

19) It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

"Today we shall be brewing, what is it Mr. Weasley!"

"Professor Snape, you take yourself too seriously."

"We'll see about that," said Snape under his breath.

The next morning George was drinking his usual goblet of pumpkin juice when suddenly, with a loud pop, he turned into a weasel and began scurrying around the hall.

Professor McGonagall immediately descended from a place the high table to clear the chaos.

Professor Snape merely smirked.

20) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

"Fred where is your homework?"

"Professor McGonagall you take yourself too seriously."

"Fred where is your homework?"

**Meh not best chapter, but idea bunnies temporarily defeated by homework demon in War of How to Spend Free Time 1035, bad homework demon. Anyway idea bunnies regroup in back of brain for later. Help them by reviewing, need fuel for attack mind**.


	3. Mistakes, Brooms and Evil Overlords

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or The Evil Overlord list **

**Happy Birthday Fred and George (April 1st)**

**Yay! Short chapter (sorry I've been busy). But I still need a girl prankster, so review and tell me; what is she like.**

21) I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

"My Lord, the post is here."

"Excellent, what is there today Wormtail?"

"Bills, threatening letters, a cheque from Lucius and a letter from Hogwarts."

At this Voldemort straitened up. "Has Dumbledore finally decided to give me the Defence post?"

"No," said that pathetic excuse for a human, Wormtail, holding the letter at arms length. "It's from the Weasley twins."

Voldemort leapt behind the sofa. "What is it?" he asked apprehensively.

Peter opened the package as though it might explode, which it could have knowing Fred and George, and replied.

"It's a letter."

Handing the letter to his master, Peter waited respectfully in his corner until he was done reading.

After twenty minutes of Voldemort staring, silently at the parchment; Wormtail decided to risk speaking.

"My lord?" he asked hesitantly.

"Well that's just rubbish," snapped His Evilness, throwing the paper away.

"What is it my lord?" asked the former Scabbers.

"They've sent me a list for Evil Overlord, like I need it"

Wormtail remained silent. It was dangerous to interrupt Voldie while he in the Zone.

"What's worse is the idiotic suggestions on it. Like 'I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."' Who would do that. I must be the one to kill the boy. It is the only way. That's why 'If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.' makes no sense. I'm the leader of the Death Eaters, I must kill Potter to become invincible. And if 'My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.' well where's the fun in that? My Death Eater masks add atmosphere to our attacks. Everyone knows them, everyone them. But this - this is the worst, 'I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.' SNAKES ARE THE BEST, MOST AWESOME CREATURES EVER! Why else would they be the symbol of slytherin?"

At this point the Dark Lord started to hyperventilate. Peter, fearing his master's already terrible breathing problems (having no nose can be a real problem), decided to intervene before things got too out of hand.

"Master they where probably just trying to get too you."

"You're right," said Moldy-Shorts sighing. "But there are some good suggestions on here like this one, 'I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so.' I must insist all Death Eater do this from now on."

"Of course My Lord."

Years later, as Wormtail was trying to strangle Potter the magic hand Voldemort had given him kept acting up. He-who-has-many-names would make sure his servant would keep his promise till the end.

22) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Grow.

"Fred, George why did you place Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Grow?"

"Because he put his goblet down next to the similar goblet of Skele-Grow we were using to act out Harry Potter's life story."

"Did you need to use real Skele-Grow?"

"We want to make the play feel authentic."

Professor McGonagall buried her face in her hands when a sudden thought occurred to her.

23) -I will not replace Madame Pomfrey's Skele-Grow with pumpkin juice

"Did you say that there were two goblets?"

"Yes Mum."

"So if Prof. Snape got the Skele-Grow does that mean madame Pomfrey got the pumpkin juice?"

"Yes Mum."

24) -It was not an honest mistake.

"I'm sorry Professor was an honest mistake!"

"It was an honest mistake Weasley. Saturday night my office both of you detention"

With that Professor McGonagall slamed the door to her office so hard the windows rattled.

25) I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

"George? What are you doing?"

"Housekeeping."

"Is that - Is that my Firebolt!?"

"Yep."

"Why are you using my Firebolt?!"

"It's a broom, isn't it? "

**Sorry it late and short but I had a ton of homework then yesterday my Uncle died in an accident. I mean I didn't really know him, I've only met him a handful of times but still (Actually I might have cried more over Dumbledore, Fred, Lupin and Tonks so far but wait till it hits me). Anyway review, please, give me ideas for my girl prankster or tell me what you think. Also feel free to PM me about anything. Love you all, stay safe ~Amy**

* * *

_"To the well organized mind,  
_

_death_

_is but the next great_

_ADVENTURE"_

_-Albus Dumbledore_

_Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone_

_J.K. Rowling_


	4. Condiments, Arguments and a New Order

**Disclaimer: I actually own nothing of this chapter, it was written by the wonderful RUGoing2writethat. If you like it check 'em out.**

**Thank you all you lovely people who keep reading it means a lot. I've got some new stories coming so I won't have as much time for this one, but next chapter I'm going to add Gred and Feorge's apprentice girl so last chance to tell how you think **

26. There is no such thing as the Order of the Rubber Duck, no matter how much my dad would like there to be one (This is a tribute to Arthur Weasley)

Fred and George may be pranksters but there was one thing they were always serious about. They loved their dad. Arthur Weasley was the best man on Earth in their Eyes and they mainly developed their pranks to make him laugh. Whenever their mum wasn't home, and they pulled a prank, their dad would always laugh as long as no one ever got hurt. So, they naturally did all their pranks to make him happy.

One day they walked into the Great Hall, during dinner, with a yellow, large duck shaped patch on the front of their robes. No one would have paid much attention except the duck-shaped patch gave a loud rubbery quack.

"Fred…George…what is that?" asked Hermione. Really, she didn't want to know, but someone had to protect the younger years.

"Well, you've heard of…," said Fred.

"The Order of the Phoenix…" said George.

"We have decided…" said Fred.

"To form a most important Order to help them…" said George.

"Messers Fred and George Weasley, PROUDLY present THE ORDER OF THE RUBBER DUCK" they said together, with a flourish, using their wands to discretely put the flashing words "Now Accepting Members" above their heads.

"FRED…GEORGE! What is going on here," said McGonagall coming down from the Teacher's Tables, "What are you wearing on your robes?"

"Well, Professor…" said Fred.

"We have founded an order…" said George.

"Dedicated to helping…" said Fred.

"Our dear Harry…" said George.

"Rid the world of the dark hypocrite…" said Fred.

"We present to you, THE ORDER OF THE RUBBER DUCK" they said together, putting a bright yellow rubber duck above their heads, above the words "Now Accepting Members," with a large rubbery quack.

Now, Minerva McGonagall was a very strict disciplinarian. However, she had a particular soft spot in her heart for Arthur Weasley; he was one of the best men she knew in her eyes. If she ever had biological children of her own, her strongest wish was that they had half the good in them that Arthur Weasley has in him. That being said, she also knew of his fascination with the rubber duck. So, it saddened her to put down this loving tribute to the twins' dad.

"Messers Weasley, there is no such thing as the Order of the Rubber Duck and you may NOT found one, at least, not now as war is serious. That being said, 5 points each from Gryffindor for disturbing dinner," she said.

As she walked back to the table, "and 15 points each to Gryffindor for the loving tribute to your father," she said quietly to herself as she sat back down at her plate.

27. There is no such thing as a condom charm and I will NOT offer to teach lower years, Nor am I allowed to create one, NOT EVER!

"And so you just wave your wand and say, _Wizardis Condomis" _and that's all there is to it," said Fred to the Gryffindor third years during a 'lesson' on 'useful spells.'

It was Colin Creevey who called them out. "Guys, are you sure that this Condom charm works?" he asked. He didn't have any need for one as he had yet to find a girlfriend, but it didn't hurt to be prepared as the Boy Scouts taught him. As he said this, Hermione Granger just happened to arrive in the Common Room and overheard.

Now many would say that only Molly Weasley could make George and Fred cower in fear. That was until this incident.

"FREDRICK GIDEON WEASELY! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CONDOM CHARM!" Hermione started, and she pointed her finger at them. Now, they had faced a furious Molly Weasley, but they had never faced a Hermione Granger whose rage and protective instinct had been ignited before and quite frankly, Fred was about to wet himself in fear.

"YOU APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE HERE RIGHT NOW! AND THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS THAT I DO NOT WRITE HOME TO YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER!" she said. Fred shuddered in fear at the thought of his father getting angry. He was a very easy going guy who was mostly amused by Fred and George, but when he got angry…and he was a stickler for proper manners in front of a female…when he got angry, not even their mother could scare them _that_ much. So Fred and George humbly apologized to each and every person one by one, making a special apology to Hermione, on their knees, begging her not to tell their mother or their father.

Harry climbed in through the portrait, saw Fred and George on their knees begging for mercy from Hermione, and promptly climbed back out, because if Hermione was angry, not even _he_ would face her.

28. There is no such thing as a ketchup charm, nor mayonnaise, nor mustard, nor any other condiment.

"_Ketchupis Condimentius,_" said Fred, waving his wand.

"_Mustardus Condimentius_," said George, waving his wand.

They looked at each other, at the lack of condiments on their plates, and nodded.

"_Mayonnaisis Condimentius_," they said together waving their wands in sync.

Hermione looked at them. She really did NOT want to know what they were up to, but again, someone had to assist Professor McGonagall in protecting the younger years.

"Fred…George…what are you doing," she asked them resignedly. Later she would look back at this moment and wished she'd kept her mouth shut and let the professor handle them.

"Well Dear Hermione…" said George.

"We are trying…" said Fred.

"To use the condiment charms to put condiments on our food," they finished together. Hermione's left eye twitched. She reached down into her book bag, pulled out a potion, took a sip, and put it back. It was a combination blood pressure and calming potion given to her by Madam Pomphrey.

"MESSERS WEASLEY…" said McGonagall rounding on them, "DETENTION."

29. Condiment and Condom are NOT the same thing and I will not argue with Ms. Granger that they are, no matter how many interesting colors she turns.

"If you won't tell us the difference then how can you be so sure that they are not the same thing," said the pair of redheaded twins together.

"BECAUSE THEY SIMPLY ARE NOT!" said Hermione. She had already drunk 3 vials of her special potion and her blood pressure was still out of control. She had turned red, blue, purple, green, yellow, and now she was actually turning orange. Her magic was reacting to her mood. It was a strange phenomenon that had nothing to do with Fred and George slipping her one of the potions they invented when she wasn't looking. Oh no, it had nothing to do with that at all.

They had been arguing in the common room for 2 hours now, and had scared all of the first years, sending many of them crying to their dorm room, and they had scared most of the second and third years, sending most of them scrambling out of the portrait hole. The even sent the less-than-genius Ron Weasley scrambling out of the portrait hole within 30 seconds of his arrival.

Professor McGonagall had just sat down to tea and a very good book, one that she was looking forward to reading, when most of the Gryffindor second and third years, and Ron Weasley barged into her office babbling on about the furious fight between Fred, George and Hermione. After calming them down, and making sure they were alright, she stormed down to the common room. Upon arrival, and listening to the twins argue that there was no difference between Condom and Condiment, she had to actually walk away to calm herself down. She walked back, calm and ready to deal with the situation and climbed through the portrait hole.

"MESSERS WEASLEY…MISS GRANGER…EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON HERE RIGHT NOW," said Professor McGonagall.

Once they had explained what was going on, McGonagall had noticed the different colors that Hermione was turning.

"…and she won't explain the difference, so we conclude there is none," said the twins together.

"Messers Weasley, Detention, and I will be writing to your parents of this incident. Ms. Granger, please come with me to the Hospital wing, you should not be turning different colors," she said, shooting a final glare at Fred and George.

30. I will not ask First year muggleborns (nor any other year) to teach me how to make an F-bomb

Colin Creevey had been at Hogwarts long enough to know to avoid two red headed twins whenever possible. His brother Dennis had not learned this lesson yet. Alas, that was how Fred and George was able to corner the unprepared 2nd year muggleborn.

"Dennis, my dear boy…" said George, putting his arm around Dennis Creevey.

"we would like you to…" said Fred, putting his arm around Dennis's other side.

"tell us something," the twins finished together.

"What is it you want to know," said Dennis. Now, Dennis was not stupid, but he figured the best way to not become a target was to help the twins whenever possible or at least pretend to help the twins.

"We've heard about a muggle invention…" said Fred.

"And we were wondering if you could…" said George.

"Tell us how it works and possibly teach us how to build one," they said together.

"Well, it depends upon what the muggle invention is," said Dennis. If it was a muggle invention, surely it would be harmless, right?

"Well, we were wondering…" said George.

"Can you help us…" said Fred.

"Build and use an F-bomb?" they said together.

Whatever Dennis was expecting it wasn't _that._ While their father was a milkman, he had been in the Royal Navy when he was younger. He picked up a lot of interesting words. Later, when Colin was born, he stopped using them. When the boys first went off to school, he sat them down and explained to them that they may hear a lot of new words, words with four letters. If any of the new words seemed different or confusing, they were to come to him as soon as possible. Well, when Colin and Dennis heard a high school student talk about _that_ and his girlfriend, they asked their father about _that_ that very night. Needless to say, the explanation left them confused, and a little grossed out.

Dennis stared at the two red headed twins and said the words that made them pale, and determine that they should leave Dennis Creevey alone. "No, and if you ask again, I'll tell Hermione and trust me, it'll make her more angry than a certain earlier incident," and with that the not-so-dumb 2nd year muggleborn walked off leaving two slightly scared twins to wonder just how they were going to get the information.

31. - I will not ask Professor Snape which potions ingredients can be used to build an F-bomb

"Professor Snape…" said George.

"We were wondering…" said Fred.

"If you could help us…" said George.

"With a Special Project…" said Fred.

"Can you tell us which…" said George.

"Ingredients we need…" said Fred.

"To build an F-bomb…" they finished together. The resulting shock on the Dungeon Bat's face was priceless and well worth the 4 weeks of detention that they got. "Go…McGonagall's Office…just…GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" said the shocked Professor after a few minutes of imitating a fish.

32. - The F-bomb is NOT an unforgivable...on second thought, yes it is!

"And I don't know what possessed you to pursue this information but you will abandon this avenue of thought, do you hear me? In addition to the 4 weeks of detention, you will serve another 4 weeks with me, and that's fifty points from Gryffindor," said McGonagall as she wound down her impressive 59 minute and 59 second lecture she gave the twins.

"So Professor…" said Fred.

"In light of this lecture…" said George.

"Does this mean…" said Fred.

"The F-bomb is another unforgivable," they finished together.

Her immediate thought was to tell them no, but before she could open her mouth she paused and gave it a second thought. "Yes…yes it is!" she said firmly.

**Nice right? Like I said this is all** **RUGoing2writethat. If you like review, I hope to see them again. Also anything on the new apprentice is much appreciated. Love you all,**

**~Amy **


	5. Wizard Sky-clad

**Disclaimer: another chapter from the amazing RUGoing2writethat**

**Hi I'm really sorry loves but the next chapter is almost ready and will probably be posted today or tomorrow, I promise .In the meantime enjoy another wonderful chapter from RUGoing2writethat.**

33. I will NOT go to class sky clad.

One day, while looking for good pranks, our beloved red-headed bookends, er…twins, stumbled across the muggle practice of 'going sky clad.' They found the muggle practice fascinating, so they decided they would go to class sky clad, the wizard way. Now, Fred and George loved their pranks, they really did, but even they weren't brave enough to actually go to class sky clad, that is totally nude. It wasn't that they were ashamed, it's just that their dad and mum DID instill in them enough sense of decency to not want to parade around the whole school nude.

This meant they charmed their robes to show a poster of a naked male body…not just any naked male body but the naked male body of a very muscular body builder. And not just the body, but the head too; of course, Fred and George each removed the heads and put their own in its place They looked at each other and nodded and then they decided to hide the 'dangly bit' with a black censor box, a ridiculously long black censor box that said, "IMPORTANT DANGLY BIT" in white letters. Fred looked at George and decided that he could do with a better looking body, so he made the body pale and added freckles, and made the body look suspiciously familiar.

"Fred…what's with the freckles, they aren't that funny?" asked George. So, George waved his wand and animated the freckles, making the move in all sorts of patterns and spelling out many different words. Fred nodded and approved. So he waved his wand and made his body sweat and flex its muscles. They looked at each other and nodded in agreement, approving each other.

They went to their first class, Charms. Poor Professor Flitwick. He was a good chap, laid back, and he secretly enjoyed many of the twins' pranks, marveling at their ability to do such good work. This was just too much.

Fred walked into the class wearing his robes with what appeared to be a poster of a…naked muscular dark skinned male body that was flexing its muscles. George was right behind him with a poster of a naked muscular pale ridiculously freckled male body. Seriously, the freckles were _moving_ in different patterns and shapes, including spelling out the word "Studmuffin" and "too sexy for clothes." Thankfully both had a black censor box where it counted.

"Messers Weasley, I know I will regret this, but, WHAT are you wearing on the front of your robes?" asked Professor Flitwick.

"Well Dear Professor…" said George.

"Flitwick, we've been reading…" said Fred.

"About a muggle practice called…" said George.

"Going sky clad. So we thought…" said Fred.

"We'd try it for ourselves the wizard way…" said George.

"So we charmed our robes to be wizard sky clad," said both twins in unison.

Flitwick sighed. He did think it was funny but he had to teach class. He would have a good chuckle later. "Five points from Gryffindor, each, for the...inappropriate attire. Cancel the charm and let's get started," said Flitwick.

So the twins canceled the charm and their robes went back to normal, with the large yellow duck-shaped patch. It didn't quack so Flitwick let it slide. He too liked Arthur Weasley, and knew of his fascination with the rubber duck. In fact, it was rumored that the entire wizarding world somehow knew, at least in Great Britain. He did think it was touching that the twins loved their dad so much.

Class ended without any more interesting interruptions, from the twins.

The twins got out into the hall. They had transfiguration next so they added the charm back to their robes. Fred was wearing the pale body builder with the moving freckles, and George decided to wear a female model. This time a black box covered the 'naughty bits' with the words in white saying, 'Naughty Bits" on her upper body and a box saying "Another Naughty Bit" on her lower body. Fred then removed the head of the model and added George's head.

They walked to transfiguration. Many students saw them coming and tried to avoid them. A few found the poster's hilarious. When they got to the transfiguration classroom, they were 2 minutes early.

They sat down. McGonagall entered, took one look at their robes. She shook her head. Maybe if she ignored them, they would cancel the charm themselves; really, she should have known better. So she started the lecture. She stopped after ten minutes noticing that one twin had a _female_ poster and the other twin's poster had _moving_ freckles. She sighed. She'd noticed this because the freckles decided to spell out "I'm too sexy for my shirt" and "So sexy it hurts" and "Stud Muffin Extraordinaire" and other phrases.

Now, it must be noted that McGonagall is NOT a heavy drinker. She may have a glass of firewhiskey once or twice _a year_ but upon deciding to speak to the twins about their latest joke, she knew she would have to have a glass tonight.

"Messers Weasley, I know I will regret this, but, what ARE you wearing on the front of your robes?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"Well, our dear…" said George.

"Professor Min…McGonagall, we've been reading…" said Fred.

"About a muggle practice called…" said George.

"Going sky clad. So we thought…" said Fred.

"We'd try it for ourselves the wizard way…" said George.

"So we charmed our robes to be wizard sky clad," said both twins in unison.

"Ah, yes, well, cancel the charm and let's continue with class. Ten points each from Gryffindor for the inappropriate attire, and detention," said McGonagall. Yep, she was right. She was going to _need_ a glass of firewhiskey tonight.

So the twins canceled the charm and their robes went back to normal, with the large yellow duck-shaped patch. It didn't quack so McGonagall let it slide. She was already going to need one glass of firewhiskey, she did not want to need two.

So the transfiguration class continued and ended without incident. Fred and George stood outside the classroom and reapplied the charm. It was lunchtime, so they decided to go for something different. So George put the female poster, with the black boxes, on his robes, and this time put Ron's head on the body. Fred put a male body builder, this one with dark skin, and put Harry's head on the body. George frowned and removed the head and put Snape's head but then thought, "I'm not _that_ brave!" and instead put Dumbledore's head on the poster, beard and all. Fred thought that was better than Harry, so he removed Ron's head and put Dumbledore on his poster. They walked down to the Great Hall. Then they thought of something and looked inside without going in. Umbridge, the toad, was not there, so they decided to take advantage of it. So, George removed Dumbledore's head and put a toad's head in its place, then changed the toad's head to be pink, and then added a bow identical to the one Umbridge always wore. Fred looked down and decided to do the same thing to George's poster. They entered the Great Hall.

Hermione Granger was an exceptional student, but she was pretty ridged in her view of rules and regulations. Pranks just were not something she tolerated very well. Some pranks she would have tolerated, if only because doing them showed good spell work. Lately, though, George and Fred were pushing all her buttons, mainly due to stress. That's why Madam Pomphrey gave her the blood pressure and calming draught mixed. Any time she felt her left eye twitch, she was to take a sip. So far, the twins had made her go through 7 vials of the stuff in 3 days. So when they entered the Great Hall, with their posters on their robes, she decided she would ignore them. She took a sip of her potion, and turned her incredible intellect toward ignoring them as hard as she could.

Ron was not as intelligent as all that. "Fred, George, what's all that?" asked Ron. Harry just shook his head and looked at Hermione who was looking in the opposite direction of where Ron was looking. It was clear she was doing that on purpose as she looked at the empty chair next to her with great interest.

"Well our Dear Ronniekins…" said Fred.

"We read about a muggle practice…" said George.

"Called going sky clad…" said Fred.

"So we decided to go sky clad the wizard way," the twins finished together.

"Really? So what is sky clad?" asked Ron. Everyone at the table groaned. Colin Creevey, the normally laid back kid, was actually glaring at Ron; his brother Dennis was whispering something in his ear.

"Well, Dear Ronnie-poo…" said George.

"Sky clad is what the muggles call…" said Fred.

"Doing things nude…" said George.

"But we aren't that crass or crude…" said Fred.

"So we decided to do it this way," the twins said together. Ron just raised an eyebrow and started to open his mouth. He consequently found 4 wands pointed at him. Hermione, Harry, Colin and Dennis had their wands in hand. Dennis, who was sitting next to Ron leaned over and whispered, "Not. Another. Word." in his ear. The youngest red headed male Weasley may not have been the brightest bulb in the box but he wasn't that stupid. He nodded and closed his mouth shut. Only then did the students put their wands away.

"Messer's Weasley, I thought I told you to cancel those charms. This time when I say cancel them, I mean for them to _stay_ canceled. Twenty-five points from Gryffindor," said Professor McGonagall. The twins looked at her and pouted. Only then did she notice the pink toad head. Her glare softened ever so slightly. So the twins, once again, canceled the charms, and the large yellow duck-shaped patch on the front of their robes reappeared, giving a rubbery quack. She nodded and went back to her plate, "and 30 points to Gryffindor for the insult to the toad," she said as quietly as possible when she sat back down.

**They** **Ah McGonagall you awesome girl. Anyway this is again RUGoing2writethat's work so, yeah. Also I promise the next chapter will have Fred and George's apprentice and be posted soon. If not you all have permission to burn down my house. Love you all, - Amy**


	6. Apprentices, Kazoos and Flying Monkeys

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling , but Allison is created by me (Don't own Wizard of Oz either)**

**Ok so this chapter is a little different. It's mainly about Fred and George finding an apprentice (or two) in pranking to take over when they're gone. Then there's some of the problems caused by the apprentice(s). It takes place around the 3rd or 4th year in Harry-time. Enjoy and please review. Love you all.**

After much painstaking research through all the houses, Fred and George had found a promising apprentice who could take over when they had left Hogwarts. Now to tell her. As they entered the Great Hall and scanned the crowd George pulled out her file. (Yes they have files, it's not creepy.)

Allison Ellie Kerr

Blood status: Muggleborn

House: Gryffindor

Size: Petite (good for hiding/sneaking)

Hair: blonde with pink streaks

Eyes: hazel

Personality: Clever but rebellious

Fred tapped his arm, and pointed to a girl sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table, chatting with their sister. Winking at his twin, George led as they walked up to the girl and taped her on the shoulder. She jumped about a foot in to the air and wheeled around.

"Oh, it's you two," she said.

"You say that like it's a bad thing love," said Fred grinning.

"How do I know it's not?" replied the girl wryly. "It is the Weasley twins we're talking about here."

"Looks like she's cleverer than we thought, Fred," Chuckled George smirking. "But today we've come to offer you a marvellous opportunity."

"A once-in-a-lifetime shot."

"The chance many would die for."

"Just tell me what it is!"

"Of course, of course. Just come with us for a moment."

Allison shrugged at Ginny, and got to her feet.

As she followed the twins out of the hall she began to wonder what they would offer her.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice that the twins had disappeared until two pairs of hands grabbed her, and dragged her into an empty classroom.

Looking around she saw the two redheads grinning mischievously.

"Right she said so what have you brought me here to offer?"

"A marvellous oppor..."

"Yes yes, marvellous, once-in-a-lifetime, many would die for chance. What is it?"

"We've come to offer you the chance to be our apprentice," the twins said in unison.

Allison blinked. Whatever she had been expecting it certainly hadn't been this.

"Apprentice?" she asked, dazedly.

"You see," said Fred adopting a very serious tone. "We grow old."

"Our youthful days at Hogwarts are nearly over," George continued sadly.

"So we have begun to think about what awaits the castle, when we're gone."

"Endless days of boredom, rule following and no pranking, whatsoever."

"No place deserves such a fate."

"So we began the search for an apprentice."

"Someone to take over when we're gone."

"And we've chosen you."

"After searching high and low."

"You hold the most promise."

"Welcome to the second branch of marauders."

"In your case a maraudette."

"Causing mischief and mayhem since the day we got here."

"Membership benefits include immunity from us and, most of the time, Peeves."

"The only question remains now is are you interested?"

Allison thought herself, Immunity from the Weasley twins and Peeves? Heck yes.

"I'm in." she said confidently.

"Excellent!" said the bookends together. "Now all that remains is to complete two pranks."

"Big pranks and make sure we see them. We need to know that you're up to the task."

"Right," said Allison, her mind whirring.

"And dear," said George as she turned to go. "Don't mention this to anybody but Ginny. Did we tell you? She's a maraudette too. Feel free to work together and complete your task."

And with that The second marauders pushed the girl into the hall and closed the door with a snap.

That night, after all the other the girls had gone to bed, Ginny and Allison stayed awake, planning and plotting. By next morning they were ready to put their plan into action. (If you want to see the full planning and execution strategy, consult my coming story 'The Journal of the Maraudettes of the Second Hogwarts Marauders')

**34. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.**

"Hermione could you please transfigure my skin green."

Hermione looked over the top of her book to see Ginny's best friend Allison Kerr standing in front of her.

"I could, but why do you want your skin green?" asked Hermione confusedly.

"I'm always wondered what it would be like to live with a green face," said Allison. "This will be like a research project."

Hermione, who could see no harm in doing research, waved her wand and turned Alison's skin green, as wished.

She soon regretted it when Allison came flying into the Great Hall on her broomstick cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Oh god. That was it.

She _was_ the Wicked Witch of the West.

Hermione glanced up at the high table. Dumbledore was chuckling good-naturedly. McGonagall however looked furious.

"ALLISON ELLIE KERR! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"

Allison shouted back,

"I'm doing research for my career choice!"

"And what is your career choice?"

"To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys!"

"Miss Kerr, 'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys' is not an appropriate career choice."

**35. -No, not even though you are a witch.**

Allison landed on the ground with a soft bump.

"It's not?" she asked disappointedly.

No it's not," said professor McGonagall seriously.

"Not even though I'm a witch?"

Professor McGonagall's mouth had gone very thin.

"No not even though you are a witch."

At this point most of the hall was laughing. Of course all muggleborns and most halfbloods had seen The Wizard Of Oz even some pureblood had. Only the Slytherins looked really confused.

Weasley twins grinned at each other

"No doubt Ginny helped with this one," said George to his brother. "That's one down one to go."

"I'm impressed," said Fred. "Even we can't get McGonagall to use our middle names.

36. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office.

Professor McGonagall had restored Allison's green skin, and now got down to business with punishment.

"Now," she said turning to the young girl. "Go to Professor Dumbledore's office. He will meet you there when he's finished."

She had just turned to go back to the high table when she heard Allison breakout in song behind her.

_"Follow the yellow brick road_

_Follow the yellow brick road"_

**37. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.**

Minnie turned just in time to see Ginny join her accompanied by about a hundred house elves.

They all started skipping.

_"Follow follow follow follow follow the yellow brick road_

_Follow the yellow brick follow the yellow brick follow the yellow brick road"_

**38 -Especially not with kazoos.**

And then came the kazoos.

_"We're off to see the wizard the wonderful Wizard of Oz_

_we hear he is a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was_

_If ever and ever a wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because because because because because because_

_because of the wonderful things he does"_

Now Dumbledore was a big fan of the Wizard of Oz and was rather enjoy the festivities. McGonagall however, who much preferred Star Wars, was not.

"Miss Weasley, Miss Kerr. report to the headmasters office immediately fifty points from Gryffindor!"

The girls nodded and skipped out of the hall, still singing.

_"We're off to see the wizard the wonderful Wizard of Oz"_

As they left the Great Hall they heard Dumbledore call out

"And 60 points for Gryffindor for an excellent performance!"

The twins turned to each other and smiled.

"Looks like they're in."

**So whatcha think? Good? Bad? Review! I appreciate it, really I do. I've only been on for about a month and I love it. I've always loved writing but I'm ADHD so if I'm not writing with purpose I get distracted and lose interest. Being on here lets me share it with all you lovely people. Thank you everyone who reads my stories. I love you guys, you are the reason I keep adding new chapters. I'm here to talk if you need anything. Keep reading. Lots of love,**

**~Amy**


	7. Munchkins, Bathrobes, and The Force

**Disclaimer: this chapter was written mainly by ****RUGoing2writethat**

**Hello all you lovely people. This story was written a bit by me but mostly by the wonderful RUGoing2writethat. Hope you like it.**

39. I will not ask Professor Flitwick to sing any Munchkin songs from 'The Wizard of Oz' nor will I try to bribe him to do so.

Fred and George were pleased over the prank that the two maraudettes pulled earlier. So they decided to have a bit of fun. After consulting with their two apprentices, they were able to track down and obtain a copy of the Wizard of Oz sheet music, specifically the munchkin songs. They took these copies with them to Choir Practice.

Now, they weren't actually members of the Hogwarts Choir, but Professor Flitwick was a jolly fellow and welcomed anyone who wanted to hang around during practice. So they placed the sheet music on Professor's sheet music stand, which was just his size. Professor Flitwick walked in and stood behind his sheet music stand. He tapped the floor with his wand and part of the floor rose up so everyone could see him. He looked at the sheet music.

"This is not the sheet music we are working on. Who placed this..." he started to ask, until he spotted the red headed twins, "Messers Weasley, is this your sheet music?"

"Yes Professor. We figured you would be perfect to sing those songs," they said in Unison.

"No, just no," said the Professor.

"Aw, please. We'll give you free jokes from our owl order business," they said in Unison.

"No," said the Professor.

"At least do Lollipop Guild for us," they asked in Unison.

The Professor sighed. He, like Dumbledore, did enjoy the Wizard of Oz. Perhaps it wouldn't be too bad to have a show this year where they sung a few of the songs. "Messers Weasley, I will make a deal with you, I will consider a musical this year with some of the songs from the Wizard of Oz, if and only if, you can get me more songs, and if you can refrain from any more pranks until the weekend. Do we have a deal?" asked the Professor. Seeing as how Choir Practice was on Tuesday nights, and Thursday nights, and this was Tuesday practice, they would have a whole 3 days free from the Weasley twins usual antics.

"Yes, we can do that. Does that include other people who pull pranks?" asked the twins, in Unison.

"No, so long as you don't participate directly in them," said the Professor. After all, he did enjoy the pranks, and the twins never actually hurt anyone, even if they did tend to get Minerva's blood pressure on the rise. Even she enjoyed their pranks, well, except for the sky clad prank and the argument with Ms. Granger. Yes, a 3 day 'vacation' would be ideal for all the professors and students.

"Thank you professor," said the twins in Unison. Honestly, their way of switch talking was less unnerving.

40. School Robes are appropriate school attire. Bathrobes are NOT appropriate school attire. Not even if you add the Hogwarts and House Emblems.

Fred and George woke up that next morning. They were not allowed to pull any pranks. That didn't mean the Maraudettes couldn't do so. So they pulled out their spare robes and transfigured them into bathrobes, with the school emblem and everything.

They folded them up and met Allison and Ginny in common room.

"Our dear Apprentices..." said Fred.

"We have an assignment..." said George.

"Due to circumstances well within..." said Fred.

"And beyond our control..." said George.

"We now ask that you fulfill another..." said Fred.

"Prank on our behalf," they finished together.

"What is it," said Ginny.

"Well dear sister..." said George.

"You need to wear these official..." said Fred.

"School bathrobes to class," they finished together.

"Ah," said Ginny looking at Allison

"Well we are apprentices," said Allison looking bemused. "Um just out of curiosity, what exactly are these circumstances?"

Fred and George turned on her.

"Well dear apprentices…" began Fred

"You remember our asking for munchkin songs?" continued George.

"Yeah, so?" replied Ginny

"The reason for the munchkins songs…"

"Was so Professor Flitwick could sing them."

"And we promised that if Professor Flitwick sang them…"

"We would do no pranks till the weekend."

Allison gasped and placed a hand on her heart.

"Stop the press," she called. "The Weasley twins are taking a break from pranking. The Apocalypse has begun. All we need now is for Snape to smile."

"Or wash his hair." Added Ginny

"This is serious." said Fred and George together.

"We can't be involved any pranks directly…"

"But we can have you do them."

"Well" said Allison as she and Ginny took the bathrobes from them, "you pick an excellent time to choose apprentices."

Now Allison and Ginny were modest girls. They still wore their shirts, sweaters and skirts with the bathrobes. In fact the only difference with uniform was instead of impressive, billowing school robes they wore short, fuzzy bathrobes.

As they went to breakfast many people shot them funny looks but no one commented on their strange attire.

I they sat down for transfiguration however, McGonagall realized something was wrong.

"Miss Weasley, Miss Kerr. Where are your school robes?"

Ginny and Allison looked at each other confused.

"These are our school robes," replied Ginny.

"No," Professor McGonagall firmly, "Those are bathrobes."

Yes." said Allison. "They are robes, and seeing as they have the school and house crest on them them are school robes."

Minnie just rolled her eyes she was not in the mood to deal with anymore Fred and George's antics today. Then she realized it wasn't Fred and George. It was Alison and Ginny. She shook her head. There was something funny going on, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

That night in the common room, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Lavender and Seamus cornered the two girls and confronted them about their recent behaviour.

"Right," began Hermione in a very businesslike tone. "What's going on?"

"Whatever do you mean Hermione dearest? "asked Ginny innocently.

Hermione's face flushed scarlet.

"You know perfectly well what I mean…" she began, but Harry cut across her.

"We mean, why are you acting like Fred and George?"

Well speak of the devil. At that moment the very two redheads they had been discussing walked in. Upon seeing their two apprentices being held hostage by most of the fourth year they decided to intervene.

"Why are you bothering our apprentices?" They said in unison.

"Apprentices?!" Exclaimed the six fourth years together.

Harry wheeled around to face Allison.

"Did you agree to this?" he demanded of the girl he regarded as a sister.

"Why wouldn't I?" Allison replied. Harry shrugged as Hermione burst out,

"Because you could get in trouble!"

Ginny shrugged, "Trouble is my middle name."

"Really?"

"No, it's Molly."

Hermione threw her hands in the air.

"You two were clearly dropped your heads as a babies."

"I was not," replied Allison angrily, "I was clearly thrown up into the air, hit the ceiling-fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window."

41. I will NOT dress as Darth Vader and declare myself the next Dark Lord.

Fred and George had to have some patience and self control to develop and pull off their pranks. After all, no one would fall for a prank if you were cracking up over it. Some pranks required a serious face. All things considered, 3 days without a single prank stretched their patience and self control to their limits. But, they made it. It was Saturday when they were allowed to pull their next prank. During that time, they had been plotting and planning.

They had to bribe Hermione with a promise to not involve or target her directly for the rest of the year. They also had to promise to give her all the antidotes and counter-spells as well as anti-charms to all their products. She agreed not to give them out to anyone, unless it was medically necessary. She also agreed to let them watch her entire Star Wars Video Collection, on a specially made Wizard-VHS Video Tape, wizard player and TV.

They spoke with Allison and she helped them configure a working Darth Vader costume, complete with voice and sound effects. Of course, it looked more like the costume for Darth Helmet from Spaceballs but that was beside the point.

*Darth Vader theme music magically follows Fred around.*

George is walking behind Fred in a Storm Trooper outfit.

As they approach the great hall, the music goes louder and George waves his wand and fog settles around Fred. They open the door with a flourish. Fred stalks in, in a very Vader-like manner, the fog rolling around his feet. The heavy breathing sounds and music following him.

"OI, what are you two Weasels up to now?" yells Malfoy from the Slytherin table.

"Really, how did he get in Slytherin?" thought most of the table for his lack of cunning, intelligence, decorum, manners, etc. etc.

_**"Malfoy, I am Darth Fred Vader, and you are speaking to the next Dark Lord!" **_said Fred in the Darth Vader voice, _**"You will show some respect!"**_

"Me, A Malfoy, show respect to a blood-traitor Weasel. Never!" said Malfoy, ignoring the groan of his table.

_**"I find your lack of faith disturbing..."**_ said Fred Vader and he waved his wand, discreetly, and Malfoy's hair became bright Weasley Red, and freckles appeared on his face unbeknownst to him. Not to be left out, George waved his wand and added, "Ferret" with an arrow pointing down to him above his head; of course, every time Malfoy looked up it would vanish.

They went to Gryffindor table, and sat at the agreed upon distance from Hermione.

_**"Minion!"**_ said Fred Vader.

"Yes, my lord," said George.

_**"Fetch me some breakfast Minion, for I am hungry,"**_ said Fred Vader.

42. Accio is NOT the force.

"My Lord, why do you not use the force?" asked George.

_**"You are right, My minion. A demonstration of the force is indeed in order,"**_ said Fred Vader, _**"Accio bacon, Accio toast, Accio jam, Accio butter, Accio sausage, Accio eggs." **_Fred pointed his wand at the various items and they flew to him.

_**"And that, my future loyal minions, was but a small demonstration of the power of the force," **_said Fred Vader, _**"Come to the dark side; we have cookies."**_

He and George handed out pamphlets titled "Come to the Dark Side; we have cookies...chocolate chip..."

"Messers Weasley, explain," said Flitwick.

McGonagall was at the head table, silently laughing. She thought this prank was awesome! Indeed most of the muggleborns who loved Star Wars thought this latest antic of the twins was awesome as well. Even Snape's lips twitched when he heard Fred's response to Malfoy about lack of faith. He did NOT smile! He did NOT enjoy their pranks secretly, casting silencing charms on his office while he sat in his chair, laughing out loud after each prank! He did not, he did not, he did not!

"Well, Dear Professor, My esteemed twin here is Darth Fred Vader, the next Sith Lord and Dark Lord," said George, "and we are now accepting applications for his future loyal minions."

Flitwick sighed. He looked to Minerva, who was hiding a smile who nodded.

"Very well, take off those helmets, and five points from Gryffindor, each, for disturbing breakfast," said Flitwick, "oh and cancel the fog charm."

When Flitwick got back to the table, Professor McGonagall said, quietly because she could not officially encourage the twins, "and ten points to Gryffindor, each, for the display of good magic."

**A/N (from RUGoimg2writethat): I never understood, why they had a stack of books for Prof. Flitwick and not a tall stand for him to stand on or why, being the Charms Master, he didn't cause the floor to rise upwards. He could have even charmed a piece of wood to float and stood on it. This is magic we are talking about, and they are in a school of magic so I never understood why they didn't use magic.**

**Yay a new chapter. More chapters will be coming soon as I defeat my homework demon. Heres a bright idea what if you all come up with one rule and story around it, send it to me and I'll post it in the next chapter with your penname. Just if ****you write about Allison, she's my precious character.**

**Do you dare take the challenge?**

**PM and send me a DOC X of your bit if you do.**

**One thing I promise, the more people who send me their ideas the faster this story its next chapter.**

**Love you all, Peace**

**-Amy**


	8. Malfoy, Star Trek and Military Uniforms

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and this chapter is done partly by me, partly by RUGoing2writethat and partly by BloodSuckingFerret**

**Hi there loves! It's been over two weeks hasn't it? Don't worry I'm not dead, just busy. The homework demon is stronger than ever. Isn't school just awesome? Like the other day two seconds till the end of the day and some kid pulls the fire alarm. Yay! I just freaking love fire alarms. Note the sarcasm, the heavy, heavy sarcasm. Anyway new chapters in the works some lovely authors are writing some for your enjoyment. I'm excited. And I am working on a new story, should be out soon. So, Yeah, enjoy.**

**43. I will not embarrass Draco Malfoy by charming all his robes to say, "I wish I was a muggle" and "I love Muggles."**

"Out of my way, Mudblood," snapped Draco Malfoy as he pushed his way out of the Great Hall with Crabb and Goyle following suit. The particular Muggle-born to whom he was talking this time happened to be Allison Kerr, and though many others would have just ignored him SHE was not going to let this slide.

"Oh, Malfoy," she called, turning around. "I've been meaning to ask, so you do parties?"

"What?!"

"Well, it's my cousin's birthday soon and she want's to have a trained ferret to entertain her guests."

Malfoy spluttered.

"My father will hear about this," he hissed, and turned to go, but Allison called out again,

"Speaking of your father, if he and your mother got divorced would they still be cousins?"

wisely Draco just kept walking, pushing two Muggle-born first years aside as he went.

Allison watched his retreating back for a few seconds before turning and muttering to herself,

"Of course you know, this means war."

Now Allison has a hot head and a sharp tongue when she loses her temper, but the only thing that really sets her off is when people insult her blood-status. So she made a plan. A plan to get back at that ferret faced Slytherin. Of course it involved pranking him, she was maraudette after all.

One day while their dear high inquisitor had a friend by the name of Lucius Malfoy visiting the school, Allison put her plan into action.

You can imagine the shock on Muggle hating Lucius Malfoy's face when his only son walked into breakfast wearing robes emblazoned with the words 'I love Muggles and 'I wish I was a Muggle'. In fact if they hadn't been in a public place he probably would have disowned him. As it was he looked agitated enough to make Draco uneasy. Looking down at his robes the Slytherin boy realized what was written on them and flushed a dull pink.

Although almost the whole school was snickering at the Malfoy dilemma, none of the teachers troubled to do anything about it. Even McGonagall just sat back and enjoyed the entertainment.

Finally, out of pity for his old friend, Snape made his way over to the Malfoy boy who was frantically waving his wand, trying to remove the pro-muggle slogans. After the professor embarrassing words from his robes, Malfoy muttered a hasty thanks and hurried away. As he glanced up his gaze fell upon Allison who was smirking smugly. He scurried over to her.

"This isn't over, Mudblood," he hissed through gritted teeth.

"Malfoy," she smirked. "I've only just begun."

**44. I am not "George of Borg"**

Now that they were given free rein to prank again, Fred and George decided that there should be 2 to 5 days between each prank. A well planned prank was a good prank, and surprisingly even Hermione enjoyed the Darth Fred Vader prank. She would never admit it, but since they didn't disrupt class, and it was on a Saturday, and it was Star Wars, she allowed herself to enjoy it. That is why when Fred and George were in the common room, she went up to them, she wanted another prank she could appreciate and enjoy.

"Fred, George, I did enjoy your Vader prank, because no one was the target," said Hermione

"But Malfoy..." the twins started together.

"Doesn't count," Hermione said, "Anyway, I have here another two wizard VHS tapes. Since you still have my wizard player and wizard TV that I made, you may watch them before you return it. Only one condition for this."

"Yes," said the twins together.

"You may not target anyone, Malfoy excluded, and you may only do this on a Saturday, or during lunch Friday, since we all have a free period following lunch. In other words, this prank may not disrupt classes. If it does..." she said, trailing off, letting the threat hang in the air, "Well anyway, I am sure you will make it funny and enjoyable much like the Vader prank." Hermione handed them the tapes and walked away, leaving two confused red headed twins in her wake. They were not ones to turn away from a good prank.

It was amazing. This show...Star Trek The Next Generation, contained some very good materials, but Hermione had given them the Borg Episodes, which they watched three times that weekend.

So they took two weeks and with much planning and help from both Hermione and Allison, they managed to get a working Data and a working Borg Costume.

George was dressed as a Borg, while Fred was dressed as a Red-headed Data. Everything was authentic.

So. Fred went to breakfast that Saturday in his Data costume.

"Fred, what are you wearing," asked Ron.

"Well, Ronald, I am wearing the standard Starfleet issue Lieutenant Commander Uniform for the Science Division and Ops officer as designated by Regulation 573 dash B, which outlines the shape, color and fabric of the uniform. I believe that my uniform is up to code. Why, do you see something that is not up to standard?" said Fred, in a perfect imitation of Data.

"Uh...so, where's George?" asked Ron.

"As he is not present within the confines of this room and my perceptions do not extend outside the confines of this room, I cannot state where George is," said Fred.

"We are the Borg, you will be assimilated, you will adapt to service us," said a voice that was a blend of multiple voices, but with George's voice distinctly dominating. It seemed to come from everywhere. "Starfleet Android, you will be assimilated, and become part of the collective," said the same voice.

Then the door opened. In walked a red headed Inferus...no it was George. He was wearing black, and had something over his eye and some muggle looking thing that was whirring and making noises on his left arm. His skin was very gray and he had no expression on his face.

"Oh," said Fred/Data.

Fred/Data pulled out his wand and pointed it at George, "Identify yourself. I am Lieutenant Commander Fred of the USS Enterprise, NCC 1701 dash D," said Fred/Data.

"I am George...of Borg. You will adapt and service us. Resistance is futile," said George in a voice that was single yet had a hint of the multi-voice from before.

**45. My wand is not a phaser**

Fred pointed his wand at George and said, "Phaserus Lumos," and a 'phaser' beam shot out from Fred's wand. It hit George and a green shield lit up.

"We have already adapted to your primitive weapons. Resistance is futile. You will adapt to service us," said George, again with a hint of the multi-voice.

Fred waved his wand and said, "Borgus Repello," and a bright pink stream of light shot out from his wand. It struck George and again his green shield lit up.

He started walking toward Fred and Fred said the final spell, "Borgus Neutrilo," and a very bright yellow light streaked out of Fred's wand.

Now, Fred and George had planned every aspect of their prank, including each spell and it's effects. The first two were only 'light shows' and didn't actually do anything. Well, actually, they would have done something, but George's costume had a special protection ward against them. The first spell would have caused George to glow in the dark; the second spell would have turned his skin bright pink. The protection ward was designed to fail after two spells. The last spell was meant to put a poster of Dumbledore on George's Borg Costume. This would cause George to return to normal. Alas, what they did not know is that the spell would not quite work the way they intended. Instead of putting a poster of Dumbledore on George's Borg Costume, it actually transfigured George's costume in to Dumbledore's most hideous robe, with bright yellow stars, green moons, and a purple background. It also gave George a beard, identical to Dumbledore's except for being Weasley red.

Now, McGonagall was a Star Wars fan but she didn't hate Star Trek. Poppy Promfrey, Rolanda Hooch, and Pomona Spout were the three Star Trek fans in their group. They would get together and watch a marathon of Star Wars, followed by a Marathon of Star Trek.

So, while Poppy, Rolanda, and Pomona were enjoying this prank, she had to restore order. She walked up to the redheaded, red-bearded 'Dumbledore' doppleganger.

"Messers Weasley, explain," said McGonagall. She was going to have to speak with the muggleborns as she was sure Fred and George were getting the ideas from them.

"Well, our Dear Professor..." said Fred.

"This was a simple prank..." said George.

"Brought to you by the Weasley twins for your enjoyment pleasure," said Fred and George.

"Very well, Five points each from Gryffindor for disturbing breakfast," said McGonagall as she smiled rather deviously, "Oh, and Mister Weasley, you will wear those robes and that beard until the end of breakfast." She waved her wand so that he could not transfigure them or remove them; she also looked at Fred, and added Dumbledore's beard, in bright neon-pink, to Fred's face. Her spells would only wear off after breakfast was over. "Now, enjoy breakfast."

She walked back to her plate at the head table and leaned over to her friends, "and fifteen points to Gryffindor for good use of transfiguration."

"And another five points to Gryffindor for good use of magic to imitate Star Trek the Next Generation, the very best show ever," said Rolanda. Minerva just smirked and rolled her eyes good naturedly. She and Rolanda were like sisters.

**46. I may not charm my robes to look like a Prussian military uniform in order to pick up girls.**

"How exactly will this help us get girls, George?" Asked Fred Weasley.

"Wait and see, my dear Fritz. And while we're at it, call me Georg."

"That's the same name."

"But it's spelt differently."

As they entered the dining hall, a deafening scream of excitement filled the air. Which was odd, as only one girl was screaming.

"OH-MY-GOSH-YOU-TWO-LOOK-AMAZING!" She screamed as she ran up to them. Her name was Elizabeth Evenson, a Hufflepuff in Fred and George's year. She had long red hair and bright green eyes. She also had an undying obsession with anything and everything Prussia; and seeing as they were dressed like Prussian soldiers, from the Seven Years War no less, she was very happy.

"You two look soooo nice! Listen, do both of you already have a date to the Yule B-"

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" Screamed a very angry McGonagall.

"Well hello, Minnie. You were just showing off a new charm we learned." Said Fred.

"And finding a date to the Yule Ball." Said George

"By dressing up as Prussian soldiers?"

"It worked on Elizabeth."

"My office! NOW! And 10 points from Gryffindor!"

As McGonagall walked off, eye twitching, Fred got the creeping feeling he would be called "Fritz" for the rest of the year.

**The first one was done by me, the second and third ones are done by the fabulous RUGoing2writethat and the last one was done by a new author, BloodSuckingFerret. Check 'em out. Anyway sorry to keep you waiting, please review and tell me what you think of the chapter or if any other teachers should be part of a muggle fan group. Love you guys, hope you keep reading my work, thank you for all your reviews. You're the best. Peace off.**

**~Amy**


	9. Conversations, Batman & Snape's shampoo

**Disclaimer: did you hear on the news that somebody bought Harry Potter from JK Rowling? No? That's cause it didn't happen.**

**Hello hello this chapter is for those of you who, follow follow follow follow the yellow brick story. And to those who review. You want to join the army and then sign up now. All you have to do is type a review down there and press that button. In other news I am going to update this story once a week and update Turning Tables and The Two Potters once a week. Maybe on a Friday afternoon. I want to help you get through the week by giving you something to look forward to. You know what helps me get through the week. Reviews! So post yours now, love you all! **

**Thanks to RUGoing2writethat for the ideas and to BloodSuckingFerret for the last rule.**

1. I may not buy Professor Snape a bottle of Strawberry Shortcake shampoo

Today had been a good day for Professor Mc Gonagall. None of the marauders had pulled any pranks. Sighing happily to herself she put her steaming mug of green tea on the small table beside the crackling fire and crossed the room to her towering bookshelf. Taking out her favorite book Professor McGonagall went back to the fireside and sat down in her old velvet armchair, ready to read until…

Knock knock.

Someone was outside her door, knocking to come in. Sighing Professor McGonagall put down her book next to her mug and heaved herself out of the comfortable chair. Pulling open the oaken door to her office she revealed that it was Allison Kerr seeking entry to inside.

"Hullo Professor," she said with a smile that was just a bit too innocent to be real, "may I come in?"

Minnie's heart sank. So close. It was almost a trouble free day. She sighed, no use crying over spilt potion. Might as well just suck it up and deal with it. Nodding, the Gryffindor head stood back to let the girl pass into the room. The Professor then pushed shut the heavy door, which closed with a loud thump, and returned to her armchair. As she sat down she gestured to Allison for her to sit on the sofa opposite. Once the girl sat down Professor McGonagall asked,

"What is it this time?"

"Right down to business then?" grinned Allison cheekily. "Well Christmas is approaching fast and I would like you views on my gift for professor Snape."

At this the professor looked suspicious but didn't say anything so Allison continued,

"I was wondering if I could get him some Strawberry Shortcake shampoo."

2. nor Dora the explorer shampoo.

Professor McGonagall froze. What a decision. Part of her was tempted to say yes just to see the look on Snape's when he opened it. But then again he was a fellow teacher. In any case she really should keep her students away from the receiving end of his rage.

Fighting not to smile or laugh Professor McGonagall said,

"No I don't think Professor Snape wants any Strawberry Shortcake shampoo."

"Alright then," said Allison cheerily. "How about Dora the explorer?"

a Hello Kitty bath and body set

Professor McGonagall sighed. It was clear Allison wasn't going down without a fight.

"No Hello Kitty shampoo," she stated plainly bracing herself for the argument that was sure to follow.

"How come?" Allison whined loudly.

"Because," McGonagall faltered. "Because Professor Snape is perfectly capable of taking care of his own hygiene."

"I doubt that, have you seen the man's hair?" asked Allison disbelieving. "I know, how about I get him a Dora the Explorer bath and body set?"

"No Allison, no."

"Why not? It'll make him smell nice."

"Miss Kerr, Professor Snape is a grown man," Minnie explained.

"You're right Professor, I was being silly," Allison looked at her hands for a few moments before looking up excitedly.

4. Not even if I send them to him anonymously

"What if I send them to him without putting my name on them, like an anonymous secret Santa gift?"

" Allison he would still be able to tell that it was you sending him girly shampoos."

Allison thought for a moment before smiling.

SpongeBob SquarePants is NOT manly enough for him.

"I know! Is SpongeBob SquarePants manly enough for him? "

"A GROWN man miss Kerr."

"Yes of course." Allison smacked her head.

is Spiderman or Superman.

"Is Spiderman manly enough?"

"No."

"Superman?"

"No."

"Come on you don't get manlier than Superman."

Professor McGonagall just shook her head.

7.I am not allowed to buy Professor Snape any shampoo EVER!

"How about…"

"Miss Karen, "Professor McGonagall cut in You are not allowed to buy Professor Snape ANY shampoo."

"But…"

"EVER!"

**And now a rule from the wonderful BloodSuckingFerret**

8. I am not Batman

"Did you get it?" Fred Weasley asked his twin.

"Yeah! I love trading with that guy! What's his name again?"

"I don't know. He just calls himself 'The Doctor.' Well, it's time to watch this brilliant looking movie from the future!"

"Excellent!"

After watching The Dark Knight for the third time in a row, the twins were still mesmerized.

"Wicked" they said in unison.

"Oi, Fred!" Said George with a mischievous smile on his face. "Don't you think this movie would greatly entertain the rest of the school?"

"Indeed I do, dear twin. But how will we manage THAT?"

"Simple. We modify a charm we know." George said with a smirk.

"Oh, brilliant! But, I have a four word condition."

"Which is?"

"Dibs. On. The. Joker."

"...Fine."

Minerva McGonagall had a funny feeling. It was almost as if something was about to happen. Oh no. Her Weasley senses were tingling.

Suddenly, the doors in the Great Hall burst open.

"I'm Batman!" Rasped George Weasley. Oh, Merlin.

George Weasley was dressed up as Batman, and Fred Weasley was dressed as... well, Minerva couldn't tell. She supposed it was supposed to be the Joker, but it looked different.

"Wanna know how I got these scars?" Said Fred Weasley/ Joker-like creature.

Minerva had had enough.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?"

"We're just acting out this movie." They said in unison.

McGonagall looked at the strange disk in their hands.

"What's this?" She asked.

"It's a DVD." Once again in unison.

"We got it from our trader-" said Fred.

"Along with a DVD player-" said George.

"Both from the future-"

"And both modified magically to work in Hogwarts-"

"As well as the t.v."

"Well," McGonagall replied, "I'm confiscating them both.."

The twins groaned.

It WAS a brilliant movie, Minerva had decided later. Perhaps she'd give Gryffindor a few points for introducing it to her.

**Yeah you got a teeny tiny little Doctor Who reference. If anyone wants to write more chapters with ideas from other fandoms be my guess. Just PM me and we'll work something out. I kind of want to make Snape a Batman fan because he already swoops around like a bat. I don't know you tell me your opinion and also give me more ideas for rules. Here I just want to apologize because I might not update as you usually as I like to but I have homework and other stuff I need to do and I also have another big kind of story that I recently started. I'm not giving up on this one but it just won't be my only thing I have to work on. I love you guys are continuing to review and read my crazy stories, thanks for all your support. Keep reading on. **

**Amy**


	10. Prank Wars, Drag & Draco Feels Pretty

**Disclaimer: this chapter was written mainly by RUGoing2writethat with some imput from me for the Allison parts. Neither of us own Harry Potter or the song lyrics used for this chapter which were taken from West Side story. Do any of you actually read this?**

**Hello long time no see, though I never saw you in the first place but you catch my drift. This is the start of a prank war between the Marauders and Malfoy. Sorry bout the wait but school has been loading homework on me like I'm a N.E.W.T student and my brain was fried. I am going to take a little break from writing new chapters and revise some of my other stories until summer. Then we're back in business. Also I'm going to start replying to each review I get to show my appreciation for all you amazing people. I say I love you all but I know everyone loves to be addressed directly. Anyway review with new ideas and enjoy, love ya!**

**54. I am not allowed to put a potion in Draco Malfoy's Pumpkin Juice to make him sing "I Feel Pretty", especially not while wearing drag.**

Malfoy had been relentless lately. After the incident with the "I love muggles" charm, he was pretty angry. He had been terrorizing the first and second year muggle born students from all houses. He was picking on one little girl who had tears streaming down her face when Allison stumbled across him.

"... You stupid little girl, you shouldn't even be here."

" Talking to your self again Malfoy?" interrupted Allison angrily.

"No," snapped Draco, wheeling around to face her. "I'm talking to this bit of Mugglescum who should go home to her stupid parents."

"Well so should you, but we don't say that to your face," replied Allison moving around to protect the little girl.

Allison loved kids, so having Malfoy attacking them made her angry. Like really angry. Like lasers shooting out of her eyes angry. If looks could kill Malfoy would have been dead and gone a long time ago. Unfortunately looks can't kill and murder is illegal. Allison would just have to settle for messing with the little prat.

"And you should learn to keep your nose out of other people's business," said Malfoy, as an attempt at a nasty retort.

"Is that the best you can do Malfoy," spat Allison right back in his face.

Malfoy cheeks flushed a dull pink, the closest to blushing the pale twit could get.

"You're such a bitch," hissed Draco.

"Thank you," Allison smiled annoyingly. "That's actually my animagus form."

It looked like Malfoy had run out of retorts. He hesitated for a moment then turned and stalked off pausing for a moment to shout at Allison once more,

"Don't think this is over, I will have my revenge. I'll get you, you ugly little mudblood!" Draco snarled at Allison.

"And your little dog too," Allison muttered under her breath as she led the sniffling girl away.

Allison was not amused to say the least. She began researching charms and potions until she found two potions she needed. One was an American version of the Gender Changing potion called the Gender Bender potion or the Ru Paul potion. It was created and used by American Wizard drag queens as it did not change the gender, just gave the drinker the appearance of a drag queen through some pretty complex magic. The second potion was also American. It was the song potion. It required some hair from the subject, which oddly enough, Allison did have, and it would cause them to sing any song put into the potion via parchment.

"What are you doing, Allison?" asked Ginny seeing the girl sitting on her bed surrounded by potion books and song lyrics.

"Working," stated Allison bluntly.

"On what?" asked Ginny curiously

"Work," replied Allison refusing to give her friend any information.

Ginny rolled her eyes. Why did Allison always have to be so difficult. She sat down on Allison's bed and picked up one of the potion books she was looking at.

"Why are you looking at potions for wizard drag queens?"

"Because," said Allison not looking up from the song lyrics she was writing out.

"For heavens sake, just answer the question properly!"

Allison looked up at her startled.

"There's no need to shout."

Ginny sighed. Allison loved to push people's buttons.

"To answer your question I'm going to feed it to Malfoy, as punishment."

"Punishment for what?"

Allison looked at Ginny disbelieving

"Are you questioning the fact that Malfoy needs to be punished?"

"No," said Ginny hastily."I was just wondering what he did this time."

"Well for your information, he has been terrorizing first-years again."

"Doesn't he always do that," asked Ginny wondering why Allison was only just now taking action on this.

"Yes but this time was particularly bad," said Allison quietly. "One little girl was crying when I came across him screaming at her."

"So you going to make him wear drag?"

"Yeah. All I need to do is slip him that potion," Allison gestured to the book Ginny was holding.

"So what's with the song lyrics?"

"Well I figured If we're going to do this we better do it all the way so I'm going to, via this song potion, make him sing the words to I feel pretty."

Ginny smiled.

"What if we got the house elves to sing back up?"

"Sounds excellent," said Allison grinning wickedly.

"Now all we need to do is brew the potions," Ginny rubbed her hands together.

"And figure out a way to slip Malfoy the potions."

"We could always get Dobby to put it in his pumpkin juice."

"I like the way you think,"said Allison grinning wickedly.

Draco took a long gulp of his pumpkin juice. It seemed like his bacon was extra salty today. It had nothing to do with Dobby adding twice the normal amount of salt to his bacon and eggs, nothing to do with that at all.

All of a sudden there was a large puff of smoke and Draco was dressed in…drag. Yep, he was dressed in make-up, a wig, female clothes including a copper bra that looked Amazonian. He looked down and looked around, furious. As he stood up to yell at Allison, he started singing instead.

"I feel pretty,  
Oh, so pretty,  
I feel pretty and witty and bright,  
And I pity  
Any girl who isn't me tonight.  
I feel charming,  
Oh, so charming -  
It's alarming how charming I feel,  
And so pretty  
That I hardly can believe I'm real.  
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:  
Who can that attractive girl be?  
Such a pretty face,  
Such pretty dress,  
Such a pretty smile.  
Such a pretty me!  
I feel stunning  
And entrancing.  
Feel like running and dancing for joy.  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty wonderful boy!" which he ended the verse twirling by Harry Potter and batting his eyes at the poor teenager who blushed a bright red, redder than the Weasley hair.

**55. I am not allowed to recruit the House Elves to sing the chorus.**

All of a sudden the house elves appeared in dresses and they started singing, quite loudly.

"Have you met my good friend Maria.  
The craziest girl on the block?  
You'll know her the minute you see her,  
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.  
She thinks she's in love,  
She thinks she's in Spain,  
She isn't in love,  
She's merely insane!  
It must be the heat,  
Or some rare disease  
Or too much to eat  
Or maybe it's fleas  
Keep away from her.  
Send for Chino!  
This is not the  
Maria we know  
Modest and pure.  
Polite and refined.  
Well-bred and mature  
And out of her mind!"

They did manage to finish the whole song:

Draco:

I feel pretty.  
Oh, so pretty!  
That the city should give me its key  
A committee  
Should be organized to honor me!

Elves:  
La, la, la, la...

Draco:  
I feel dizzy,  
I feel sunny,  
I feel dizzy and funny and fine  
And so pretty,  
Miss America can just resign!

Elves:  
La, la, la, la...

Draco:  
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

Elves:  
What mirror, where?

A mirror appeared on top of the Hufflepuff table and Draco jumped up to admire his image.

Draco:  
Who can that attractive girl be?

Elves:  
Which? What? Where? Whom?  
Such a pretty face,  
Such pretty dress,  
Such a pretty smile.  
Such s pretty me!

Elves:  
Whom-mmm?  
Such s pretty me!

ALL (Like all the students in the whole great hall, as the words had appeared above the Teacher's table):  
"I feel stunning  
And entrancing.  
Feel like running and dancing for joy.  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty wonderful boy!" and once again Draco ended his 'dance' somehow laying across Gryffindor Table, again batting his long eyelashes at Harry Potter, who blushed an even brighter red, which had nothing to do with the twins adding a special blushing potion to Harry's pumpkin juice when he wasn't looking, nothing to do with that at all.

After a few minutes, Draco blinked and his drag clothes disappeared. One unfortunate side effect of this particular potion is that it destroyed the clothes because they could not be changed back and the change was not permanent so they ended up disintegrating into dust. This left Draco Malfoy lying quite naked, except for his boxers with the flying brooms and snitches, lying across the Gryffindor table in front of Harry Potter of all people. He had no idea how he got there but that did not stop McGongall's fury. Poor Draco (well, not really). McGonagall had been in the Hospital wing tending to a few first year muggle born students. They always got Wizard Chicken Pox, a harmless rash that caused feathers to sprout on one's arms; Professor Snape was in the hospital wing, administering the cure. She walked in to inform Dumbledore that the outbreak would be gone in a day or two, and that they should keep some extra potion on hand, as it had a shelf life of 8 months. She saw Draco Malfoy, laying on her table, in his boxers, in front of Harry Potter.

"DRACO MALFOY. HOW DARE YOU LAY ACROSS GRYFFINDOR TABLE IN YOUR BOXERS! ONE HUNDRED POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN AND TWO WEEKS OF DETENTION WITH SNAPE!" she shouted at him while dragging him, by his ear, from the table.

As soon as she left the Great Hall, because Professor Snape was in the Hospital wing attending to a sick first year, the entire Great Hall burst into a massive applause with cheers and whistles and even a polite round of applause from Slytherin table.

Professor Dumbledore stood up and let off several fire crackers from his wand. "Ahem, that was a very interesting morning show, now, off to class. Oh and … twenty five points to Slytherin for being such good sports and another twenty five points to Mr. Malfoy for an excellent singing voice. Off to class, chop chop," said Dumbledore, clapping his hands.

The students stood up and slowly left the Great Hall for their first classes. Allison smiled. This was only the beginning.

**NOTE (from RUGoing2writethat): The Lyrics are real from West Side story which I do not own and neither does RiverHolly****. They are the actual unaltered lyrics borrowed for this chapter. Thank you!**

**Yay, new chapter! And a prank war. Thanks to RUGoing2writethat for writing most of the chapter and beta reading my parts. Please review, cause it makes my day and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Love ya!**

**Amy, out.**


	11. Snape's special gift and Badass Minnie

**Disclaimer: another co-written chapter part by me part by RUGoing2writethat and part by BloodSuckingFerret**

**HELLO PEOPLE! I am not dead. And this is a real chapter and not some horrible author's note that gets you all excited for a new chapter and then disappoints you. Yes I know, that was a rotten move. And I just haven't been able to write lately but now we're back in business. Thank you to ****RUGoing2writethat for beta reading. And sorry to Crystallea1321 for my evilness. Please review and give me some new rules.**

Snape was in a foul mood. Well, more foul than usual. The incident with Draco singing that...that song embarrassed all of Slytherin and now his snakes were up in arms telling him that it was mostly Draco's own fault. If Draco had not ticked off the wrong people, he would have been left alone. Now he has to deal with the whole mess, and try to keep Draco from making a bloody fool of himself and all of Slytherin and possibly all of Hogwarts, and even maybe all of Pureblood Society. Really, how did that boy get into his house with his lack of decorum, subtlety, cunning, brains, manners, and general Slytherin characteristics. Ugh, and to think that boy was his godson. It made him want to puke. So he would take his anger out on Potter, Granger, Weasley, and Longbottom. Speaking of Longbottom, he was dicing instead of mincing his toad liver.

"STUPID BOY! Can you not read enough to follow simple directions? It says quite plainly, even for stupid simpletons like Crabbe and Goyle to comprehend that you are to mince the toad liver. Fifteen points from Gryffindor and start over!" he snarled at Longbottom, vanishing the potion.

Crabbe and Goyle, being very thick and quite stupid, snickered at him.

"AND YOU TWO, Snickering instead of doing work! DETENTION!"

So yes, Snape was in a ***very*** foul mood. When Allison, sent by McGonagall came to the room to give him a message that he was needed in the Infirmary, he snapped at her.

"WHAT Do you want Ms. Kerr?"

"I have a note from Professor McGonagall," said Allison as she handed him the note, slightly scared by his mood.

"Fifteen points from Gryffindor for being out of class, another fifteen points for disturbing my class, and another fifteen points for wandering the halls during class. Now Go."

"But Professor..."

"GO!"

Allison turned around and ran. She went straight to McGonagall's office and told her exactly what happened. McGonagall overrode the point loss as it was she who sent Allison to get Snape, who was going to get an ear full at the staff meeting tonight. How Dare he undermine her authority! She was Deputy Headmistress and she was NOT going to stand for that kind of disrespect to her position.  
Allison, meanwhile, was ticked. How dare Snape take his bad mood out on her when she was obeying a request from a professor. Well, she was going to get him back. She had the perfect way to do so. All she needed was an Owl, some galleons, a quill and some parchment...

**55: I may not send Professor Snape a Hello Kitty tote bag**

You see, despite what Professor McGonagall had said Allison had sent Snape the Hello Kitty bath and body set. And seeing as he hadn't mounted her head on a plaque or exploded with rage she thought he might be a closet Hello Kitty fan. Hey anything is possible. She had it on good authority that Lord Voldemort watched My Little Pony. Anyway Allison decided that in addition to getting her revenge she would also help the potion master show his true colors to the school. And give him a handy bag to carry his potion thingy-ma-bobbers in. So off she sent the letter to someone she knew could help her get the gift ready for Snape.

At lunch time a single owl flew in, which was odd enough seeing as how most mail was delivered at breakfast. What was even odder was the fact that the bright pink parcel covered in stickers of a certain Japanese feline was addressed to the particularly angry looking Professor Snape. The owl dropped the package over Snape's plate. It exploded in his face with a bang like a cannon shot and released a cloud of pink confetti. When it had settled over his hair and robes, making it look like he had just escaped from a three year old girl's birthday party, sitting on his plate was a black bag. On the front was a picture of Hello Kitty holding a large bow with a Union Jack design. Of course, all the Muggle-borns and Half-bloods recognized the cat at once but even the Pure-bloods could read the bold letters in the upper left hand corner proclaiming that the picture was of Hello Kitty. And even the troll-like stupid ones could guess that this bag was not meant for grumpy, evil-looking potion masters. The hall was suddenly filled with laughing students. Allison was watching her victim closely. Snape was staring silently at the bag. He appeared to be shaking with fury. Allison was also fairly certain that she could see smoke rising from his nostrils. Yes, Allison had decided that Professor Snape was not a Hello Kitty fan. She also decided that if Snape hadn't killed her over the bath and body set he would most likely kill her over this.

"What are you doing under the table Allison?" asked Harry.

"Oh, you know," said Allison, looking around furtively. "Hunting Elephants."

"Did you send that bag?" asked Hermione looking nervous.

"Obviously," said Ron looking under the table at Allison who was holding her knees and rocking back and fourth nervously. "Did you really expect an apprentice of Fred and George to take Snape's unfounded rage lying down?"

"Oh, I'm gonna die," muttered Allison looking fearful.

"I wouldn't worry too much," smirked Ron. "I think McGonagall approves. She's smiling like Christmas has come early."

"Oh good," said Allison crawling out from under the bench. "Minnie's a badass."

At the Staff Meeting that night:

"SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE!" said McGonagall, slamming open the door to the staff meeting room. Everyone, including Dumbledore cringed at McGonagall's fury. Even Hagrid.

McGonagall walked right up to Professor Snape and took him by the ear, yes by the Ear, and dragged him into the chamber just off the staff meeting room. She put up a strong silencing charm and it only muffled the sound of her yelling at Snape.

"HOW DARE YOU UNDERMINE MY AUTHORITY IN FRONT OF ANY STUDENTS! I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE NEEDED IMMEDIATELY IN THE INFIRMARY TO HELP POPPY WITH SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT. I AM THE DEPUTY HEADMISTRESS OF THIS SCHOOL AND AS SUCH I HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO MAKE SUCH REQUESTS OF ANY OF THE STAFF. IF YOU EVER, EVER UNDERMINE MY AUTHORITY LIKE THAT AGAIN SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE, YOU WILL BE FEELING THE FURY OF MY WAND. AM. I. CLEAR!"

Severus couldn't speak so he nodded.

"A VERBAL ANSWER SEVERUS!"

"Ye...ye...yes ma'am," said Severus, stuttering as not even the Dark Lord scared him this much.

She dropped the silencing charm and allowed Severus to walk back into the meeting room ahead of her. She glared at everyone briefly before sitting down. There was no need to embarrass Severus, so she wouldn't allow them to mention it. Her glare was enough to silence everyone, even Dumbledore, who cleared his throat, and said,

"Now, if there is no more other business to deal with, shall we begin the meeting?"

**56: Dumbledore is not my birth mother**

"Are you ready, Fred?"

"Nice to be called Fred again. Ever since that Prussian military uniform bit, everyone has been calling me Fritz."

"You do you look like Frederick the Great. If he were ginger. And ugly" hissed a familiar Slytherin voice.

"Oi, Malfoy, didn't your mum use to babysit him?"

"Whatever Weasley! Come on, Crabbe and Goyle! Let's leave these two freaks to whatever they were doing."

"Okay. Let's go." George said after the three Slytherins had left.

They knocked on Dumbledore's door. When he answered, the twins had somber looks on their face.

"May I help you, boys? Please, come in."

"Thank you, sir," said Fred.

"Or should we say Mum!" exclaimed George.

"Err, what?" asked Dumbledore.

"It's okay," said George. "We're not angry at you, we just want to know why you gave us up!"

"...Is this another one of your pranks?"

"One of our better ones, don't you agree?"

"Truthfully, my favorite of your pranks was when you charmed Professor McGonagall's hat to insult Professor Snape."

"That WAS a good one."

"Well, as... amusing as it was, I'm afraid your prank cost Gryffindor 10 points each. And I am not your birth mother," Dumbledore said. Then, with a smile, he said, "Professor Snape is."

So how was it? Good? Review. Bad? Review. Meh? Review.

**Alonx: Yes! Sure! Use any idea you want. Umm I sent the DocX of chapter two awhile ago but it didn't go through. Sorry to keep you waiting. (I beta read for Alonx)**

**Crystallea1321: Here is a real chapter. Sorry for my evilness. Hope it makes you laugh.**

**iluvglee: Yay I have updated. I hope you like it.**

**fanHPTW: Dude I know right. Malfoy singing to you. He's gonna need some therapy.**

**WiniFRED Weasley: Ha ha ha, I'm glad it made you laugh that's why I'm writing it. Wizard food fight I like it. And they might send the dear headmistress Umbridge a special gift. From the bathroom. Yes I think a rousing chorus of the Ultimate Harry Potter song is in order.**

**Anywho, Love you guys. Keep on reading.**

**Amy**


	12. Bedtime story's and Professor Marshbanks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and the first two rules were written by RUGoing2writethat**

**Alonx: **Good, I'm glad you told me before I bought flowers for your grave. Btw I loved Remus singing. hahaha that was the best. Love ya!

**bexyboo: **Hey! It's you again. I was wondering where you went. Glad you liked the chapter. Snape as a life coach, hmmm.

**Crystallea1321: **Yes 'My Little Pony' is undoubtably evil. With it's freaking addictive nature and the magic and friendship of it all. Pfft. A host show? I like it. Yay for brain storming. And I won't be evil. For now, Muwahahaha!

**iloveglee1: **I'm glad you loved it. Do you love this one?

**Oluhasuu:** yay you laughed!

**lovebites123: **Don't worry, they will.

**Hey people! Hi how've you been? I been on vacation in America for the past week but I'm back now and ready to write. Any one out there from the USA? You guys have alot of caffeine in your sodas. Or is that just me? Anyway, down to business. First, I've drawn a picture of Allison, if you're interested I'm putting a link on my profile. Second, I am now on Tumblr so if you want to come by we can follow each other and stuff. Whatever. Link on profile. Also, I'm thinking of writing a 'Next Generation' fic. Does anyone want to beta read for it? Well, I guess I'll leave you to reading. Don't forget to review. I makes me happy! Love ya!**

**~Amy**

**57: I may NOT 'read' made up bedtime stories to the First Years. Especially not romance stories about the Sorting Hat and Professor McGonagall's hat!**

Professor Dumbledore was in his office doing some paperwork.

"Ahem" said a voice.

"Yes hat" said Dumbledore.

"Well, I have a...ahem...date...with Professor McGonagall's Hat...so...would someone please deliver me to her" said the Hat.

"Yes...Um...of course..." said Dumbledore, banishing the hat to where ever McGonagall's hat was, not really wanting to think about 2 hats dating...that was just weird...even for him.

Sorting Hat, whose real name was Alphonso, and McGonagall's hat, whose real name was Alice, went on their date...in the great hall...it was weird seeing to hats sitting in the middle of a table...just sitting there...and was that cloth on their plates...did hats eat cloth?

All of a sudden, Alphonso pulled out (really?) a small box and opened it to reveal a hat buckle thingy

Alice gave a shriek of delight and the students were freaked out and thought that was the weirdest thing they had ever seen. They would continue to think that until the wedding...two weeks later...and the fact that Alice the Hat wore white...

"And that's the story of Alphonso and Alice..." said Fred as he read to five of the First years out loud. Most of them were looking quite confused...

"So, what happened next?" asked one First year

"Well, you know all the hats you wear?" said George

"Yes..." said another first year.

"Those are Alice's babies. Apparently hats have about 100 hats per litter so..." said Fred.

"What?" said a first year girl, "Why are we wearing Alice's babies?"

"Well, every year a hat man" -Fred

"Comes up to the school" - George

"And takes away her litter" -Fred

"Just the ones that aren't sentient" -George

"And they grow and are sold to you" -Fred and George

All five of the first years looked...upset.

"Doesn't Alice miss her babies..." asked the first year girl.

"Well yeah, sure what mother wouldn't?" -George

"But she's okay after she gets drunk and Alphonso comforts her and they make a new litter," said Fred.

The next day:

"FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!" yelled McGonagall, "You had better explain what is going on RIGHT NOW!" McGonagall was surrounded by five of the first year Gryffindors who looked like they had been up all night crying and were refusing to wear their hat, and trying to pat or talk to McGonagall's hat. She knew, by instinct, that Fred and George were involved.

"Well...Professor Min...McGonagall..." said George

"We were just reading the first years a bed time story" said Fred.

McGonagall's expression softened a bit until the little girl from last night spoke up.

"Yeah, about the romance between Alphonso the Sorting hat and Alice, your hat, and all the babies they have had over the years."

McGonagall's lips were so thin they were almost gone. She grabbed both Fred and George by the ears and dragged them from the Great Hall, and their breakfast, up to Dumbledore's office, grumbling all the way and being unable to keep the five First Years from following and trying to get 'Alice' to speak to them, as both her hands were full of Weasley ear.

When she got there, she explained why she was there, and Fred and George told Dumbledore the whole story of Alphonso and Alice.

To which the Sorting Hat started laughing. He found the story amusing...and he quickly stopped laughing at the look McGonagall was giving him.

"Ah, Professor, you've brought Alice to see me again...how nice..."

The Five first years squealed in delight and Professor McGonagall glared at the hat, who told the first years, "It is not true...alas...Professor McGonagall's hat, though quite fetching, is not alive like me," the hat said and then let out a long sigh and went still.

**58. My hat is NOT alive. My hat is NOT a she. My hat is NOT married to the sorting hat. My hat does NOT have babies that are sold into hat-slavery each year. **

Dumbledore was surprised to say the least. He chuckled and then said, "Okay, twenty-five points from Gryffindor, each and two weeks of Detention...with Professor Sprout..." which the twins paled at.

Surprisingly of all the teachers, Professor Sprout had the hardest and worst possible Detentions. She was very strict and she made them do some of the dirtiest work. This pleased Professor McGonagall very much. "Oh, Pomona has been asking for someone to help fertilize the plants. She got a fresh shipment of fertilizer from a dragon preserve in America last week but hasn't had the time to spread it out," she said, smiling with almost manic glee.

She turned to the first years and gave them her hardest glare, "Right...My HAT is NOT alive, it is NOT a she, and 'she' does NOT have babies each year which are sold to some hat man. Go to your classes!"

"But..." said one first year

"GO to your classes before you find yourselves in detention with Professor Snape!"

The five first years looked down cast, and walked out of the office and to class.

"As for you two, step one toe out of line and I will floo your mother!" said Professor McGonagall in a tone that allowed no arguments.

As they left, Professor Dumbledore said, "And twenty-five points to Gryffindor for a creative story," under his breath because right now he was scared of Professor McGonagall. He wasn't stupid after all.

**59. The Giant Squid is NOT a professor and she did NOT give me detention to serve with her by fishing in the great lake. I may not sign her name on a Restricted Section permission slip.**

It was a typical Tuesday afternoon at Hogwarts. The sun was shining, the Fwoopers were singing and Maraudettes were in Dumbledore's office. As a nice change of pace Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were with them.

"So tell me again," said Professor Dumbledore peering down at the four of them through his half moon spectacles. "Why is Madam Pince threatening to ban you from the library?"

"Well sir," began Ginny politely. "We were simply attempting to fetch Hermione Granger a book from the Restricted Section, and our dear Librarian refused to accept the teacher's signature we provided her with. So we spoke with the teacher and she went to go speak with Madam Pince."

"And who is the teacher who's signature you acquired?"

"Professor Marshbanks, sir. The Giant Squid."

"Miss Weasley, I am afraid the Giant Squid is not a teacher," said Dumbledore, fully aware that he was about to hear a long explanation on why it was.

"Told you," muttered Ron to his sister. Ginny ignored him.

"My apologies sir but I believe you are mistaken. In fact I have a detention with her tomorrow for fishing in her lake."

"Well you're in luck, Miss Weasley," smiled Dumbledore. "As the giant squid is not a teacher, she cannot give you a detention."

It was at this moment that Allison who had, so far remained silent possibly due to the fact that she quite liked reading in the library and was therefore be afraid of being banned, spoke up.

"With all due respect Professor, what makes her not a teacher? Is it the fact that she's not a human? Because we've had non-human teachers before. Like Professor Lupin, and whatever the bloody hell Snape is."

"Professor Snape Miss Kerr," corrected Dumbledore. "And no. It is not because she is not human."

"He didn't say Snape WAS a human though." Harry whispered to Ron. Again Ginny ignored them and pressed on.

"Then why do you say that she's not a teacher?"

"For one thing she doesn't have a subject," reasoned Dumbledore as seriously as though he wasn't arguing over whether or not a giant squid was a teacher.

"She does," cried Ginny hotly. "She's taught me how to swim."

"I regret to inform you, miss Weasley that swimming is not a subject here at Hogwarts."

"What?" cried Ginny as though she was shocked over this new development. "You teach divination and not swimming. Swimming is actually useful."

Everybody snickered.

"Be that as it may," conceded the headmaster. "This is a school witchcraft and wizardry. Swimming is not a magical exercise."

"Well she's also taught me that she does not in fact enjoyed being referred to as my Lord Cthulhu, nor does she wish first years to be sacrificed her on the new moon," countered Allison.

"But," argued one of the portraits. "We're not paying her are we?"

"But," Allison I argued back, unwisely as it was the headmaster with whom she was conversing.

"That one of the things she wanted to talk to you about. Lately Professor Marshbanks has been feeling rather under-appreciated what with the not paying her and such."

Professor Dumbledore sighed. He saw that he was not going to win this argument. So being the clever man that he was he decided to cut his losses and give out their punishment.

"Regardless of whether or not the giant squid is a teacher, the reason Madam Pince is so upset with you is because you were pouring water all over the library."

Allison paled and fell silent but Ginny spoke up.

"Well we had to keep the giant squid from becoming dehydrated."

"Regardless of why you did it, Madam Pince is insisting you to detention with Mr. Filch this Saturday."

No one disagreed.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore rubbing his hands together. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do."

They all nodded and filed past him out of the office. As she was leaving Ginny called back over her shoulder,

"Good talking to you Professor."

"You too miss Weasley."


End file.
